Updated: Jan 15
I read an interesting article in Psycology Today from Tim Haynes which ties into the work I do with clients on their unconscious minds, he says...
"In self-sabotage you "act out" internal conflicts by first moving toward a goal--then retreating from it. "I can do it" is offset by "I can't do it." "I want it" is overridden by "No, I don't want it." "I deserve it" countermanded by "I don't deserve it." The net result of such an ambivalent--or negative--attitude toward yourself is hardly to be envied. For the outcome is either immobilization (at times, an existential paralysis so exquisitely sculpted that push is perfectly balanced with pull, and pull with push). Or you're impelled--or rather, unconsciously compelled--to do everything in your power to defeat yourself“
“From deep within, as a kind of hapless puppet, you may be controlled by programs so antagonistic or contradictory that it's simply impossible to achieve what, otherwise, might be well within your grasp. And insufficiently aware of the adverse self-beliefs underlying such programming--beliefs most likely derived from negative messages you regularly received from your parents--you can't confront (let alone resolve) your deepest conflicts. As I like to put it, until you've assimilated your past (i.e., fully "digested" it), it will keep repeating on you”
I (Wayne) see time and time again, people with such potential self sabotage. This usually comes from conflicts and unresolved memories or events from childhood. Knowing how the unconscious mind works I know how these conflicts can be resolved, giving you great momentum going forward.
Make Peace with your Past!